OK folks...

...I'm making the move. I've given into the the hip-side. I am moving to Tumblr. This move has a simple explanation: I don't have the time to blog, and while, I still want to, my time/attention span has shortened. So, Tumblr, because of its short-form vibe, allows me to keep blogging. HOWEVER, if I want to do some longer blogs, I will use this blog and link it from Tumblr.

Oh, and this is my author page as well...you'll see when you see it.

So, check out my Tumblr, follow me, and I'll see you over there.

Later dudes and dudettes,

Joshua

It's Friday Night

I started reading Drop City. I'm still on Chapter 2. I'd rather watch TV sometimes.

Also, I'm grading papers. Why do students refuse to listen to advice. I basically told them how to get an A. I walked them through proper citation sandwiches (thanks Hellsea), wrote them a pseudo introduction of my own about a fake paper focusing on Mexican Cinema (that made me want to actually write the paper), and gave notes on two drafts before their final, yet, many of them didn't even follow my notes. Some of them turned in the same draft three times!! UGH. AND HALF MY CLASS (80% of my Wednesday class) didn't even meet the page requirement. Fucking Kids/Adults. There was one kid who turned in a 14 page paper. He rocked. Though, it was hard to reign him in. He cared so much about the issue, I constantly had to remind him to step back and look at his arguments objectively. Many papers, though, we enjoyable to read, so that's something.

My Dad turns 50 on St. Paddy's Day. I remember when he turned 30. His church folk threw him a surprise party, and kept calling him "Mike Old." I could tell he didn't like many of those people, but he shined it on for as long as he could. This is to you, Dad: "Happy 50th, Mike Old."

I'm watching Criminal Minds, and Em and Sir-Smells-A-Lot are in bed. We just had our friends Barry and Valari over. They are old friends of mine from back in my early twenties. Barry is a musician (he's scored all of our films) and we've been helping with, watching him, and listening to him and his music for years. The guy is brilliant. His latest venture (besides video game, commercial, and film scoring) is his rock-psych-rag time band, Brother Bear. They played their first show a couple weeks back. I've been listening to different versions of these Brother Bear songs for a long time, and tonight he gave me a CD with new "finished" tracks. This project is a story about a town called Wretched Knob. Basically, it's a book (in the style of Edward Gorey) with rhyming prose focusing on certain characters in this town. Each character has a song and a story, and they all meet somewhere in the grand scheme of things. I wish that I could print and release the project (I've been editing and helping Barry with it for many years now). Right now he's working on the art-work, and recording the music. I'm excited to listen to the tunes in the morning, and excited to see what kind of artist he gets to do the work.

Tonight, we just ate Indian Food, watched Pirate Radio and The Wedding Singer and talked about life, the past, new shit, music, and films. I gave Barry a copy of The Dream Songs by John Berryman, a copy of 24 Hour Party People, Quiet City, and Buffalo '66. He had already scene Mutual Appreciation and Puffy Chair (which he hated...HA, the least fav Mumblecore film!), and when I said, "Ah, you've seen Mumblecore films." He was like, "Mumble-what?" And had to explain it--the short version. Em said, "Movies about Emo Kids, who like to whine about girls and boredom." Someone I don't know once posted a line about Mumblecore that went something like, "Mumblecore: Rich Kids complaining about being bored." Or something like that. I think I'm gonna watch a couple of those films coming up, when I get some time.

Chas and I have been emailing about our project. I've been writing a lot more. And I made some rules for the project. I'll post them when I actually type them up. Oh, we're also doing footnotes in our collection. I'm STOKED.

OK. Back to Criminal Minds. But I'll leave you with a picture:

He's saying, "Come Visit Me Fools!" He's mainly speaking to Chelsea and Matt, though the rest of you are also included.

LOOK AT HOW CHUnKY HE IS!!

Albums

Everyone know that in high school I discovered Jeremy Enigk and Sunny Day Real Estate. I don't know how many days in a row I listen to Diary, but I can tell you that the only time I don't remember listening to it was when I was listening to Built to Spill's There's Nothing Wrong with Love, or the (now sadly disappointingly) first Pedro the Lion record Whole EP. I also remember driving to early morning runs for Cross Country listening to Mineral as a Senior. I'm pretty sure I got a month's worth out of Diary. OK. Though that record was my go-to for years, the first thing I heard Enigk ever sing was Return of the Frog Queen. If you haven't heard this record, YOU NEED TO. It's probably one of the best solo records to come out of the 90s. I"M NOT KIDDING. So, years passed, SDRE broke up, (then Enigk released Frog Queen), then they got back together and recorded How It Feels to Be Something On (which was totally different, but amazing), then they put out a shit record, then Dan Horner recorded an Dashboard EP, then The Fire Theft came (which was pretty awesome, but just not the same), then Enigk started actaully making solo records again.

Segue-way. Enigk had a solo song he used to play while SDRE was still together, whenever he played solo shows, called "Asleep Under Last Week's News" and he didn't record it till like 2006 or 07. It was a limited EP release that I never got my hands on. Another Segue-way. I saw Enigk play a show in Mountlake Terrace (that's right, Terrace represent!) with Damien Jurado and Paul Mumaw. He played that song, three Sunny Day songs, songs from Frog Queen, and a bunch of others I've never heard (that ended up on the limited EP). Probably one of the coolest shows I've been to. Intimate, quite. We all sat on the floor while he played.

OK. back to what I was talking about. After my disappointed with SDRE's latest work, and a disappointing first listen to The World Waits, I stopped listening. His sound had mutated into something kind of boring and "meh." But I just got my hands on his latest release: OK Bear. It's fantastic. It's simple, and while it sounds like newer Enigk, there are brushstrokes of the old, and pepperings of newness I haven't heard from him. I read somewhere (But can't remember where) that he wrote the songs, handed them over to the musicians and let them arrange, revise, and jam with. Then they recorded it. It feels very organic in many ways, yet very subdued, while still full of energy. Its simplicity is was struck me. He isn't trying too hard. He's just playing songs (or his band is and he's singing). I think he went back to his roots a little and made something stripped down and old fashioned. It's a great little record and I recommend picking it up, or streaming a couple songs and giving it a gander.

*

Other "YESes"

Gaslight Anthem - American Slang

Bright Eyes - The People's Keys (really good, really different, yet still BE)

Lemura - The new one?

Bishop Allen - S/t (the singer is in mumblecore flicks!)

The Head and the Heart - The Head and the Heart

The New Pornographers - Twin Cinemas

Some "OK, not bad, moments of awesome."

The Hold Steady - Stay Positive

Fences - Fences

Rejections and Acceptences

I've been receiving a few rejections alongside a few acceptances. The rejections are getting steadily nicer, some even downright complimentary, and all of them always want more.

It's nice after years of "Thank you for submitting to SO&SO. But your submission isn't right for us." So, now even though I receive a rejection, many times, their notes tell me exactly what I need to submit next time (or an idea). Sometimes, they're basically saying, this is good, but it didn't quite knock our socks off, though parts did, so keep throwing your stuff our way and eventually we may find something we like. My submissions become feelers. And I think I'm starting to get a grasp on the kinds of poems/stories I am writing, and what certain kind of journals like.

Assignment idea (this would be an ongoing thing every couple weeks). Read a journal. Compose a piece that would fit with the journals taste. Submit what you write. Examples: Mud Luscious, Poetry, kill author, Ninth Letter, Pank. Not all journals have anything in mind, but they publish what strikes them. Kill Author publishes things that make their jaws drop or kick them in the gut, or both. I can't remember the quote with the editors, but it was pretty cool. Anyway. That's the assignment. Learn your markets. So many of us (ME) just submit to anything that sounds good...read a poem or two...part of a story...submit. Everything is scattered shot. Sure I know what goes to Ninth Letter, Puerto del Sol, Jeopardy (just kidding), all has to fit with that I think they publish (though I'm unsuccessful so far...except for Jeopardy). But it's a long process. I think that's one thing I'll tell my students one day. Submit till you drop, but know your journals. Sure, there is always scatter-shot, but that's how you learn.

Here are some examples of nice rejection letters:

Thank you for sending us “Afterwards”. We appreciate the chance to read it. We regret that we must decline it for the anthology, however.

This is nicely observed and feels more meaningful than its content, which is good. My issues resolve around the use of “false” mystery to sustain tension and the lack of traditional story elements. My reading notes, in case they help, are at http://wp.me/pBZsd-jU Story 117. It's a good story, just not for us, I'm afraid.

We would certainly consider other stories from you.

Thanks again. Best of luck with this.

(Triangulation)

Dear Joshua Young,

Thank you for sending us “A Woman Under Ice.” We appreciate the chance to read it. Unfortunately, the piece is not for us.Our editors like the eerie quality of the woman who emerges from the ice and her dialogue. We like the mysteriousness of never quite finding out what she is and why she is so disconnected to the city. We like the mysteriousness because it keeps us from asking logical questions about her being human and able to breath underwater. Her explananation, (true, anybody could drown, but not me), has a confident delivery, but we're not sure if it's enough to keep our questions at bay. The writing is clean and casual feeling,but could stand to be a little sharper.

Thanks again. Best of luck with this. Please try us again next year.

(Ghost Town)

Dark Sky loves you and wants you to keep trying, but this submission wasn't quite us.

All the best, and good luck taking over the world.

(Dark Sky Magazine)

Joshua:

This one's not right for us, but I certainly enjoyed reading it. Thanks for the look.

(Johnny America)

Dear Mr. Young,

Thank you for sending us “We Came from Railroad Men and Shadows”. We appreciate the chance to read your work. There were many things we liked about it. In particular, we thought your sentences were crisp and interesting. The lyric poem format worked well. What didn't work for us, though, was the ending. We weren't sure what to take away from it. There is an expectation of the unexpected that isn't fulfilled. We know about your family now, but what else? If you would like to revise and resubmit, we would be happy to look at it again.

Best of luck with this.

(Beechers)

Joshua:

Thanks for sending this our way, but we are going to pass. You're getting closer though, so please keep us in mind for others. You may want to try this one at PANK or Smokelong.

(Mud Luscious)

Dear Joshua Young,

Thank you for sending these poems. We appreciate the chance to read them. Unfortunately, they're not the right fit for us, but I enjoyed the energy of the voice. Please feel free to send more work in the future.

Thanks again.

Sincerely,

Mike Young (yeah, Ian, yeah)

(NOÖ Journal)

Dear Joshua,

Thanks for sending “How We Started Bumping” for LITnIMAGE's consideration.

We've decided to pass on this one, but I really liked the style and tone of the piece, as well as some of the details--for instance, the items given to Micah after his parents were killed. But the story seemed a bit unfinished, as though it were an excerpt rather a complete narrative in and of itself.

In any case, I'd enjoy seeing more of your work and invite you to submit again anytime.

(LITnIMAGE)

OK. I didn't post these to brag (even though, Em insists that this is what I'm doing...). I posted these because many of them provided details that I can use. If I don't use them for my stories that they are referring to, at least I know, what kind of stuff they don't like. The point is (going back to the assignment) that I after I get this, I continue to read the journal, then I resubmit with what I've learned in mind.

God, two years ago (hell, maybe a year ago), I would've shit a brick for reading that editors like my stuff but not enough. If you like it publish it bitches! But this is good. I like rejections of this kind--sure a pub would be better--because I know where to go from there. Even form rejections, I use to my betterment. If they don't like my aggressive shit, I send more personal shit, and sometimes, I'll go from a form letter to a personal one (New Madrid is one example--they hated my personal stuff, but enjoyed by prosey stuff).

Anyway, there's my blog.

Wait, no, I have so much new music on my ipod...but I'll blog about that soon. I promise.

Love and Vegan Cupcakes,

J.

Submitting and Stuff

Tedious. Fucking tedious. I wish everyone was on Submishmash. I hate email submissions, but my plan to submit one story/batch to at least four different journals requires that I submit on submishmash, email, and CLMP. Ugh. It gets confusing and tiresome. Anyway. I official passed 350 submissions (which is more like 400 + because at least 25 aren't registered with duotrope, and there are a good 25-50 that I submitted before duotrope, so really the closest number might be 450 or so. Maybe. I've submitted a lot). Now, I hope this plan pays off and I start publishing. I just got an acceptance from elimae (After an edit...which was actually fantastic...he wanted to cut the poem in half--this is something oliver used to do with our poems in grad school and undergrad). Sometimes the heat of the poem begins at the end. Oh, and I totally ripped off a Joshua Marie Wilkinson line in the poem. The last line line is verbatim. I'm a little nervous about it, but hey, it's out of love, right? And it's actually a line I've tried to "borrow" for years...it was in Chapel, Wolves, Rule, and finally this. "This" by the way is a poem from the thing Chas that I sent out on a whim, not thinking that Chas and I were compiling. Well, it's cool 'cause now we've got at least one poem published from our book/project.

*

Mission songs are starting to come. I wrote some Petty-sounding songs, and tried to edge them out a little. We'll see how they shape up.

*

*

I plan on blogging on my other blog, but I'll do that tomorrow.

*

Snow is here. I like snow, but I hate driving in it. Idiots surround me.

*

I'm heading to the gym in a bit, another late night workout. Though, I'm stoked, I downloaded some new music, thanks to Dave (shhhh, it's illegal), including the new bright eyes, head and the heart, and some shit from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Alright, now, pushups.

Later,

Joshua

I hate waiting.

I've been using this submission manager SUBMISHMASH for most of my submissions, and it's infuriating. You submit and it says, "Received," and when an editor starts reviewing it, it says, "In Progress," then you get an acceptance or rejection. I check this all day, even though, an acceptance or rejection comes to my gmail. But I check it to see what's in progress and what's not. Usually, once something goes "in progress" it takes a couple days to receive and answer, or that's how it was at first, now there are some that have been in progress for three months. I don't think I would be as obsessive about checking, except that 90% of my submissions are also at at least two other journals, so if accepted I have to email the others right away, or if a journal wants one of four poems, I have to pull that ONE from the four. Anyway, my obsession is unhealthy, almost as bad as when I was checking the MFA blog while waiting to hear back from schools.

*

Chicago is approaching. In the next few months we may go out for a visit. Our friend who were living there have moved away. So, we're gonna have to make new friends.

*

I don't have much else to say. I've been revising and submitting. That's about it.

*

Oh, the Facebook film is really good. The tragedy of the relationship between best friends, destroyed from some douchebag who once help Napster. Sad shit. BTW J.T. is a wonderful fucking actor. Actually, the whole cast was fantastic. Fuck Harvard, though. Seriously. It was funny to see a Bill Gates cameo. Nerd alert.

*

I've been thinking about about my poems. Many of them aren't even poems, they're snippets from narratives. They're poetic in language, but not poetry. I'm trying to write more "poetry" but my "Trilogy" seems to want to be strictly narrative, so the ones that I've actually had accepted are the ones that stray from the narrative, that rely on the lyric rather than the narrative. I think that's the fiction writer in me. It's made me a better fiction writer. I've been thinking lately, "What if I applied for fiction MFAs?" I wonder. I think I'm having more fun studying poetry though. Fiction, yeah, I still got a lot to learn, but I dissected and read fiction for all of undergrad and grad, so doing that with poetry (something I'm not as understanding or well-verse in) fells like a challenge and something new, even still.

*

Back to Criminal Minds marathon, then the gym...maybe.

*

Tickles and Backrubs

Joshua

I post just for the sake of it

I could wax on and on about my many projects, but I'm bored with that (for now). I will say that writing songs for THE MISSION TAPES has been fun and different. I never thought I would play regular chords to write songs. They sounds too "nice." But it's fun. I listened to Tom Petty on the way home and then came home, pooped, and wrote a song. Nice, right?

I was gonna work out today, but I'm tired. I've been sick for a few days, and last night I worked out for an hour, and I'm feeling it today. So, tomorrow...hills. Yeah!

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World did two things for me:

1) Makes me want to play music in a band.

2) Makes me wants to live in Toronto.

Seriously.

That movie is great. The director (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and Spaced) is the best. He can do NO wrong. Yet...The film is about hipsters and scene kids, but it spends the whole movie making fun of them, but also showing them love...like, "Hey you're pretentious and think you're awesome, but you are an idiot in so many ways, but that's OK. You are you who are...kind of stupid." The viewers get it, but many of us (ahem) see ourselves in these idiots (taking a band WAY too seriously, trying desperately to fit in, but trying to act like we don't care, and living to meet a pipe dream that won't happen, and if it does, chances are you're be selling out something). Yeah, good times. This is a must own and will join the list with Star Trek and Hot Fuzz.

I'm about to read Lost in the Funhouse. Just bought it for 3.16.

Still reading Dayglo and Beasley book slowly.

Writing a script. Did I mention this. Typed up ten + pages today. I keep thinking of places in B'ham as I write it, only dumping snow. Writing pages of dialogue in the voice of teenagers talking to an old guy in an SUV is fun.

I know I said I was bored talking about my projects, but I lied.

I know I said I would stop writing stories, but I couldn't help it. I wrote a story about a father who gets a visit from an angel (not really, he's insane and always comes to his children with weird claims) and sews swan wings (he made them out of duck feathers, tree branches, and old curtains) and makes his kids jump off the roof. When they don't fly he calls them unbelievers. One kids wings catch a gust of wind, and things get outta control. There's a quarry later in the story. And a dinner table scene that gets me stoked. Anyway, I promise that this (might) be the last story for a while.

I got a rejection letter that asked me to change the ending of an essay about family. I read it again and was all set to do it, but I can't. The ending I slaved over and it took me a month to figure out, and I won't change it. I'm sorry. (It's not like they guaranteed publication if I changed it and even if they did, it's not like i'd sell out, and it's not like they pay). The essay is about my family, where we come from, our histories, and how my mom is weird. The end has this cool line about how we come from railroad men, frontier men, and the wild west, but how I'm not gonna go out get a shovel, a lantern, and a six shooter. But they wrote something like, "We know about your family, but what else?" WHAT ELSE!? WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO KNOW! I'm kidding. But in all seriousness. The essay is what it is, and if it made sense to revise, I would. But it didn't make sense. I will submit to that place again, though. They were fast and liked my shit. So, BOOM.

Without a Trace is a shitty show. Though, when it's on sometimes I don't change the channel. I think I like making comments about how bad the writers are. And how much I hate the main blonde girl in it. She's the worst.

Hung out with Dave Woods. I love seeing the guy. We have good chats and Em likes him. Elliot and Indie too. The thing is, I wonder if he's bored by my family life. I mean, there's nothing to do, but walk, sit around, and talk. We don't GO OUT, really. Unless there's a walk or food involved. He's too nice to say anything, but sometimes I suspect we bore him. Though, I will still call him and bug him to hang out: He is one of my best friends. So, Dave if we bore you and you're toughing it out, you are a pimp. If you actually have fun, then you are a wonderful human being...even more wonderful than we suspected. BTW. Ladies, he's single.

Oh, and thanks for spotting that cheap book for me today.

Whatelse, whatelse, I mumble too myself...

It was Valentines Day. Emily's not really down with that day, but we got Indian Food and ate it as we watched the tube. I don't say this enough, but I love Emily more than anything. And I am a lucky motherfucker to have her as a wife. And even luckier that she bore Elliot (and put her life on the line in doing so). She's the best lady in the land. And, though she doesn't get much free time, she lets me sneak in a few minutes here and there to focus on my dream, even if it makes her life harder at times. I love you, Em. Always.

So many ideas, so little time. I wrote a three page poem the other day, which will end up in fragments in Chas and I's poem/book. I'm still waiting on Chas-ters work. I've gotten a handful of poems and they are great. I feel like I'm manhandling the project so far, but I'm hoping that his poems really take the project from me and it becomes an organic act of organizing, fitting, and revise till we got ourselves a messy, yet composed book.

I'm gonna start pulling certain poems from the submission as they get rejected. Mostly This is the Way to Rule poems, or poems from Chas and I's project that I submitted before it was Chas and I's project. So, by the Spring, I will have less poems out, but hopefully, more journals, as I will sub. submit all of my poems.

I had a good class today. They've been getting better and better. We wrote about Zombies and I tried to explain proper citing, and sentence structure, and transitions with fake Zombie texts I made up. It was a fun time. I also told people that if they turned in a paper with improper citing I would "murder the *&(^ out of their paper-grade." I hope they got the message.

Anyway, I'm all over the place and I'm out. I didn't expect the blog to be this long. Well, Hellsea, I hope you had fun.

I can't never think of a proper title

Hey dudes and dudettes,

I got a cold and I don't feel good, but I wanted to blog, and when I'm done I'm gonna watch Always Sunny and the newest 30 Rock.

I am still submitting like crazy and hope that by Spring I can slow down a little and take it easy, and by summer just sort of submit whenever there seems to be a really good fit. Sometimes, when I submit, I'm just throwing out to five journals (The same story, or batch of poems) based on whether I like them or not. Some are new journals that I don't even know and my poems are feelers. Right now I have 115 submission out to journals/presses (not counting 20 or so who aren't registered with duotrope...sorry Ian can't find the time to set up a spread sheet, though when I do your will be the basis for mine...though, I'll probably have to set up one for each "Batch" and each story considering the volume, oh and congrats on the recent publication). The rejections I'm getting are started to become more personal and more positive like, "While these poems aren't quite what we're looking for, we love the voice, and would love you to resubmit others." Or "This story was deliciously funny, but just not quite right. Please send more, something that might fit better with what we publish." So, now, with all my stuff out, I'm just playing the waiting game. Some of my poems and stories are only out to 1 journal, and my goal is to take those (if rejected) and resubmit to other journals, five at a time. So, I can just wait, and I don't have to play the I-Just-Got-A-Rejection-I-Must-Resubmit game. That's so time consuming. Instead, if I have a bunch out to a bunch of journals, I just wait till they're all accepted or rejected and do it again all at once. One file, five times. I'm am curious how Chas and I will work our little project...though of course I have ideas.

Concerning the Mission Tapes. Em totally fucked up my plan! It's for the better. Originally the band was supposed to be late 60s, then I changed it to the 80s so that I could actually write songs that would fit, and so I did...close to ten songs, but Em pointed out the ages of my main characters and she made me realize that the band would have to be 70s. She played me Cream (I know 60s), but I think that Mission would be responding to bands like Cream. So, I started writing new songs. Ugh. Writing for that era is hard. A lot of real chords and riffs. Not my thing, plus most of my tunes were in Drop D, so now, I tuned my guitar up and started playing chords. And now, whenever I put the band together, someone will have to be wanking away--I vote for Chad, that guy can wank. Anyway, so the project has slowed, which is actually cool, because I will have a chance to actually write the novella/long short story that all the contributors will get. I read a story on kill author that gave an idea on how to structure it. Anyway. I've already got one poet who is "Game." And he's fucking awesome. So, I better get to work.

I've been "hired" to write a script. It's not an adaption, but an homage to "Taste of Cherry." I'm trying to set the beginning of the film up to have a very serial killer/voyeuristic feeling coming from the POV (we don't see who it is for a few minutes). They filmmakers gave me a rough script/outline and asked me to go for it. So, I've written a few scenes already, just in my notebook, and whenever I get some actual time, I'll sit down and put something together. It feels weird to be writing scripts again, though, if YOU pay me, I'll do it.

I just finished a short story about two dudes who accidentally learn how to make things disappear. It happens first with a plane and all the passengers and their luggage fall from the sky in the middle of takeoff. Anyway, I think that's it. I think I'm gonna just submit the stories and call it good. I'll go back to the manuscript and organize it when I feel like I've had enough time (And after I publish a handful of the stories...all ALL OF THEM!).

I've decided to let This is the Way to Rule sit till I get to Columbia. I'll just submit what I have to journals, so maybe I'll have a good chuck published when I start putting it together as though its a symphony. BTW I've published mostly Rule poems. I think.

Congrats to Ian on his recent publication!

Oh, American folks, try Dave's Bread. It's the best. Hellsea, I'm not sure if you can get it across the pond, but it's awesome!

Later,

Joshua

Feb.

Yeah, February is here. I don't have much to say, but I know Chelsea will have a cow if there isn't something to read. ;-)

Nothing new here, except that Elliot is getting huge (and make fart noises with his mouth). Teaching's still what it is. Work is work. We're trying to stay on top of cleaning, laundry, and whatnot, but it's tough with lack of time and our little man. Though, we worked out a system that we're gonna give a try (hey, this should be on my other blog).

I'm in the middle of revising a short story about a disappearance at a lighthouse, and I'm about to type out my Luda story. I think with a couple more stories (a couple short, maybe one longer one), I'll have a decent collection of stories. I'll still laughing about my post where I said I don't like writing short stories (I went back to look for it, but can't find it), where I said it's too hard. And look at me know, thigh deep in stories. I've been having fun coming up with crazy first sentence (or ideas) and trying to carve a story out of it. So, like I said, a couple more. I'm still wait for you readers to throw an idea. The more absurd, the better. Chelsea. I'll write a story about, but give me a trait or a concept, and I'll write it. I.E. Chelsea has fire for hands. Or Chelsea's writes a song so good it kills people. I'm waiting.

I've also got some of Chas's work from our project (I think I mentioned this already). I'm actually gonna try to tackle it on my breaks at work. If not, this weekend.

I'm waiting for a bunch of submission to respond. I'm tracking their response time and many are overdue. Sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes it's bad. I guess we'll see.

Ian: Have fun in DC. If Mcsweeney's offering crazy awesome subscription rates, call me (that goes for Ninth Letter (and any of my grail zines)).

Later DUDES/DUDETTES

J.

LUUUUUUDDDDDDAAAAAAA!!!!

I can't help it. I can't stop. I'm writing stories. They're still steeped in the Magical. I'm working on one about a Lighthouse and a kid who disappears. I'm revising it right now. I'm working on another one about a brother who's obsessed with Ludacrious and buys his cell phone number, then hangs out with him--shenanigans ensue. I'm fiddling with the idea of a kid who sets fires for money, but it seems to be just floating in the not-quite-working category, though I can't get the image of a kid burning down a high school out of my brain. I WON'T GIVE UP! Though, I probably should.

I do, however, need to gear up for some poetry, as Chas has sent me a few selections of his work for our project. It's dope, and I'm excited to tackle it. I got ideas. I'm sure Chas does too.

I also NEED to start organizing This is the Way to Rule. I think this might be my thesis at Columbia. Though, most of the work (i think/hope) will be structure and organization and form. My newest book, Bellingham Vs. Las Cruces, is looking pretty good. There's a couple poems that need tinkering, but the arc of the book is there--Cruces, Bellingham, Thinking about Cruces in the NW. Tinker. Tinker.

I've been submitting the shit out of my poems. Some are single subs, and some are simultaneous. I'm thinking that a few of the poems from Wolves rely too heavily on the narrative (and that's part of the resistance), so I may put them together and chapbook 'em (yes I used chapbook as a verb!! HA!). We'll see. I put all the letters from Wolves together, and submitted it as a story. Speaking of Wolves, I just got a story accepted about a pack of wolves in a city terrorizing a family already terrorized by the father. Black Heart Magazine. Boom.

Recent Publications (stories) - "Rainfall and a God Who Looks Like Bowie" (Bartleby Snopes); "The Forest in Our Home' (Ghost Ocean - I'll be featured as a printed sneak peek at AWP. So, swing by their table...IAN); "Wolves in the City" (Black Heart Magazine). I also just got a really nice rejection letter from the Collagist (one of my grails).

Here is a list of my grails:

Puerto del Sol

Bellingham Review

Hobart (Print)

Mudlucious

Ninth Letter

Columbia Poetry Review

McSweeney's

Tin House

Collagist

5x5 (Ian!)

Weave

Salt Hill

Flatmancrooked

TLR

I'm waiting for responses from about half of those. Mcsweeney's is almost 300 days. But I don't want to submit somewhere else and have them say yes...even though they're not gonna pick my story, even though it's the best story I've ever written (And it makes my Dad mad, 'cause it's about him as a kid, and he's pissed that his "friends" and "him" sound like my friends and me).

Maybe I'll submit to Tin House. That's fine journal. We'll see if I can bring myself to do it.

I'm amazed at how many people don't seem to know how to submit. Ian and I have been talking about this a bit here and there. I think when I land myself a cushy job at some college I'll teach a course about submitting to journals, publishers, agents, and programs (among other things). Assignments would be researching, submitting, and logging.

*

Teaching. It was rough draft day. 7 kids showed up. Hmfpt. I gave them extra credit. The kids that show up are really, really great. Smart too. Even the kid who's trouble. He's a great student and a smart kid.

I don't want to talk about other school things. I get frustrated with where I'm at.

*

I know I talk about Counting Crows a lot, but I just listened to some shit of their today and thought, "Fuck this guy is sincere." He's not being ironic or melodramatic (most the time). He's telling the audience how he feels privately and in public. I see so much insincerity or irony or tongue-jammed-into-cheek or fucking cool-points. I just want honesty and vulnerability, not contrived by the need to produce images or emotions. I just want something that doesn't feel like it's being over-produced. Does that make sense?

I can't stand reading shit like that, or hearing, or watching. It bugs me. OK. End little Rant.

But seriously, the Counting Crows.

*

Albums I've been bumping

Gaslight Anthem - 59 sound

The Hold Steady - Heaven is Whenever

Broken Social Scene - You Forgot in People

The Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site

Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

Boat - Setting the Paces

The Cure - Disintegration

David Bazan - Curse Your Branches

Lemuria - Get Better

Race Track - Go Ahead and Stay

Vampire Weekend - Contra

The Velvet Teen - Elysium

*

I've been slacking on my reading. Em's reading Never Let Me Go. I'm gonna snag than when she's done.

*

I hope this suffices, loyal readers.

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I'm envious of tumblr. It's so neat looking. Mmmm.

*

Bye.

J.

.

A picture

This is a picture of the original COAT EXCHANGE. While this picture has a lot of folks (members of los ovidados, polar state, and our neighbors from the clisetta household), it doesn't have everyone--bill, my brothers, and many more. But I feel like this picture shows a part of my history that only these people (and a few others) know. We all started something in that place. Chad and I moved up and started the Braille Tapes. Many of those boys in there started jamming together, and would eventually move from So. Cal to B'ham to pursue music. And most of those girls would move on to other things. But we were a weird unit, and we all smoked like motherfuckers. I think I was at a pack a day then--look how skinny I was!--and drank a lot too. We also film a couple movies in that house--that back door/porch room made quite a few appearances on camera. We were supposed to move out that coming fall, but no one got their shit together--I didn't even want to move--and we ended up staying, bring Dave Woods into the mix, though he was regular fixture at the Coat Exchange. I remember listening to dishes rattle in his room, when the rats wanted to clean up his ketchup. I've written poems and stories and essay with this home being a center piece, or even just a passing image, but this is the Bellingham I remember most. The beginning of that town becoming my home, and many of these people becoming my true friends. I miss that place. I miss being that young and stupid. Though, I wasn't a very good writer then, and I thought our bands, films, books, lives would be huge. Boy, was I wrong. Though, I can't complain: I got a great wife and the cutest baby in the world, oh, and a little doggie.

So Soon?

Yes. Only because it's late and there's a Criminal Minds on that I've seen before, and I've submitted all the stuff that needs to be submitted, and I just finished revising a new story, and Emily is putting Elliot to bed, and Indie is passed out on the couch.

Emily and I are cleaning out our book collection. 25% is the goal. There are so many books I have that I don't need, will never read again, and will never need for a project. It's painful to put books in to the selling-to-half-price-books pile. There are some Vonnegut books, Coupland, Robbins, Lewis, Cunningham, and more. I'm tempted to give away all my Bret Easton Ellis, but I won't give up on his early work just cause his new one sucked so bad.

I'm still picking through Beasley's latest book. It's really good, but his poems demand a slow read, rather than just pushing through. Next up is Noah Eli Gordon and Ben Lerner. I'm looking forward to those.

I'm started to get Columbia College emails and reminders. It's a ways away but it's cool to start getting those. There are some cool possibilities for next year and I hope they work out...I know, I'm being vague. I'll share when I'm ready.

OK. Never seen Road House. Should I? I see commercials for it every day. Swayze is the shit, but Road House? Thoughts?

This is the most random blog ever. I'm just jumping from thought to thought. Example:

Finally finished a good draft of a review I've been working on since Elliot was born. It has sucked and sucked, but I think it might be OK now. Emily's gonna read it. Maybe I'll send to it others.

I'm bummed that I can't go to AWP this year, though next year it will be in Chicago, so hopefully ALL MY FRIENDS will come and hang out there with us. I don't know if we'll have floor space, but by then I'll know some people. I can't wait to fill my house with lit mags, then months later give them away.

I haven't written a poem in a while. It feels good to take a break. I'm letting my projects stew. I took a look at a couple manuscripts the other day and got some great ideas for the next revisions. Good times approach. Stoked to see what Chas does with our project.

I've been writing a lot of Magical Realism/Pseudo-Fantasy/Pseudo-Thriller stuff. It's been fun. I can't stop. I've got a bunch of little ideas. I write till they catch. I've had about five not catch and I've given up, but my latest (about a ghost who haunts this guy 'cause the ghost is stalking his ex, who is the main guy's girlfriend) started out as one page, just dialogue, and turned into a nice little short story. I'm working on one about a bank robbery where the bad guys start singing, the singing is infectious...but that sounds like it could be close to a Switchfoot video. We'll see if it catches. Any ideas? Throw me ideas. I'll try 'em out. God knows, I steal half my shit from Ian Denning anyway.

I'm excited to see Keep it Cinematic. I hope my brother takes my advice on structure. If not, I'll never forgive him...just kidding.

I've been putting off working on the second book of The Story Thief till I have time to really write out the first chapter, but I've got tons of notes and outlines. Maybe this summer. Maybe next summer. Maybe when I sell the first one. We'll see. But let me tell you, it gets fucking whack as shit (in a good way).

OK. Hopefully that whetted your Josh-blog appetite. Expect something soon. Oh, and I'll blog on the other blog before this one again. Probably about how Elliot likes to mumble and groan and speak gibberish when we sit and watch TV or play on the floor. It's adorable. Seriously adorable.

Winter Coats and Scarves,

J.

Sorry Loyal Readers

It's been too long, and too infrequent for a while. But don't worry I'm not going to promise anything. I will continue to try and post when I can. So, Chelsea, sorry I am not keeping this up for you. I will try harder. I promise.

I'm still reeling about how bad Imperial Bedrooms is. I hope Bret Easton Ellis never writes another novel. That said, everything else he's done is brilliant, but I think he's worn out his welcome. I'm just appalled. Yuck.

A while back many of you might remember me saying I couldn't write short stories anymore, and wouldn't try. Well, here I am, with my foot in my mouth. I've been writing a lot, and I'm slowly approaching enough material for a collection of Magical Realism stories. Right now, I have about 15 stories. Some are really really short (1-3 pages), some are medium (6-9 pages), and only a couple are longer. All of these, with the exception of maybe 3 have been scribed recently. I have a story about a boy and God (who looks like Bowie), I have a story about a forest that grows in someone's home, the hands story, about a man who turns into a dog and becomes a better husband, one about a live woman under the ice on a lake found by boys, one about wolves terrorizing a family, one about a dude who kidnaps a sitcom star and keeps her hostage in a curtain of living vines, a heist of sorts, a story thief except, and more. They're weird, but strangely easy to write. I just find myself wanting to steer from the real of a scene and go absurd and even ridiculous. And magazines seem to be interested, I've published mostly MR stories (only one realist story ever). So, here I am, still "into" short stories. I blame two people: Ian Denning and Robin Romm. Her book, The Mother Garden is still fresh in my mind, and I read it in May or June. And Ian has written so many fantastic stories with fantastic ideas that I either want to steal from him (and have) or try to find something just as cool...don't worry Ian you will be a main part of many of my acknowledgement pages.

In early January I met up with former profs from Las Cruces. It was great to see them. They briefly tried to convince me to go back. Truthfully, there are things I miss, especially the people. Though I know it isn't the right place for us. But it's great to know that that year we spent in Cruces gave me some friends that will be long lasting. Plus they visit Chi-town and Seattle every year.

I'm taking a Break from my poetry projects ( and letting Chas go to town on our project). I'm gonna go into trying to organize and revise This is the Way to Rule. Thanks to my friend Barry (who majored in Musical Composition at U of Idaho), I'm organizing the book as a symphony in four movements. I dropped this idea for a while, but after talking to him, I know I can do it and it will be the final book in my trilogy of performances-in-verse. I'm excited. It will no longer be prose poems, though there will be sections of those. I will be experimenting with form and structure of poems, which will be fun, and something I don't usually do.

Reading Beasely's The Corpse Flower. So Good.

Submitting like shit, Talking to Ian about it. I have so much stuff out it's ridiculous. Ian and I have been suggesting journals, talking about them and their editors, and reading them. It's nice to have a partner in crime. Thanks Ian.

So many films to see, so little time. Still haven't seen Potter 7 part 1. Ugh.

Expect another SOON!

Love,

J.

Yeah, it sucked!

It was horrible. Hands down the worst thing he's ever written. Imperial Bedrooms should've never been written. Gratuitous sex scene? Yes. And it's awful. People dying for no reason? Yes. And it's pathetically awful. Abstractions (the kind in bad mystery/thrillers were people won't just tell the other what's going on, either under the rouse that it's TOO DANGEROUS, or there's NOT ENOUGH TIME. But really, the writer realizes that the TWIST isn't cool enough to just be told, and builds a narrative on it, stacking abstractions and avoidances till the final thing is revealed). FLAT and FIZZLED-OUT.

Bret Easton Ellis. You should stop. You broke my writer/reader heart.

I'm reading poetry and about to start reading Boz.

Love,

Joshua

FUCK BRET EASTON ELLIS

I'm reading his latest novel, Imperial Bedrooms, which is the sequel to his 1980s novel (written at the age of 21) Less Than Zero. The later changed the way I wrote. That along with Raymond Carver pushed my early work towards a minimalist style. So, you may be saying, "Josh, maybe you're taste has changed, like how you're not that into Mineral anymore, or other emo-ish bands. But I say, "No, this new novel is a copy of a copy of a copy of Less Than Zero." The characters aren't the same people. They're pathetic versions of the author's perception of them, and HE'S WAY FUCKING OFF. It's like he doesn't even know his own work. Even the way in which these characters act feel contrived. There isn't a loose feeling, that roving cinema verite feeling of his first novel, is absent. BEE wants to do it, but he can't. He can't reach back into those characters, because fame and his ego has prevented him from doing so, because he THINKS he knows these characters and then tells us what happened to them how many years after LTZ. But the best part about ALL of his novels is the the writer doesn't seem to know his characters. They exist within that diegetic space of his books without any contrivance or plan. They only exist and react. But in Imperial Bedrooms, you can tell Ellis wants his novel to DO something. Which makes the book fail. OK. I'll stop. I've got 30 pages left. So, I should shut up and finish the book, but I've been struggling ten pages at a time. I read his Less Than Zero in one day, and this, I don't even want to continue. I don't even care what happens to these pathetic fucks. Who cares they're awful and there's nothing that keeps the reader in. At least with LTZ, you could hang onto the hope that there's decency in some of them, that some of them will leave LA. And people might say, "Yeah, all these things you're saying is what BEE's intentions were." Bullshit. He doesn't know his characters anymore. That's clear as shit.

*

Expect an update in 30 pages.

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Elliot wore a Charlie Brown outfit today. Check it on facebook. Now he's dress in his T-Rex one-sie. My son is so cute!.

Later,

JJJJJJJJJJJJ

Resolutions and Shit

Here's my list:

1. Workout at least 5 days a week (Cardio and Strength)

2. Watch less TV, read more (see below)

3. Make more time for Em and Elliot

4. Submit all my manuscripts to contests/press (FULL COURT PRESS, YA'LL!)

OK. So, there it is. Four things. I think I can do all of those. I'm already dong these, but the resolution is to keep those going...

I still plan on watching Criminal Minds...I can't get enough of that show for some reason, but that's on at night, when we're winding down, getting ready for bed, so...

In terms of TV on DVD, well...The Wire has one more episode till we're done (Oh, Omar!), and Dexter awaits (Season 4), other than that, I think we're gonna take a series break for a bit. Just watch flicks, catch up on new releases.

Books:

The Prestige (Currently Reading) - Christopher Priest (so far, the film was better...maybe I'll blog about it when I'm done)

Imperial Bedrooms - Bret Easton Ellis

The Corpse Flower - Bruce Beasley

Angle of Yaw - Ben Lerner

The Frequencies - Noah Eli Gordon

American Owned Love - Robert Boswell

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro (if my dad ever finds his copy)

Plus, I might hit a used book store and pick up something else (next paycheck? Maybe?)

Maybe re-read some Vonnegut?

*

Chas Hoppe and I are gonna start working on a collaborative poetry book. I have no idea where it's gonna go, but I'm excited to start.

*

Alright, dinnertime.

later dudes and duderinos

J.

How many days has it been?

17 days. That's how many days. It's been busy, and for those of you who read my other blog, then you know what I'm talking about. See, I was told I had to blog over there before I blog here. So, it's the holidays, and I have barely any days off (I'm working Xmas Eve, Xmas, New years day), but it's OK. I'm not mad. I asked to work them (more money). I've been trying to squeeze in writing and submitted in-between dad-duty and work. I'm getting a lot more done than I thought. I think is because I figure out where I'm gonna submit before I do it. I gather all the things I need (make lists) and then when I get a few minutes at home, or mostly at ITT-TECH (before classes) I submit a wave of stuff. I've got so much out there it's hard keeping track even with things like submishmash and duotrope and new pages and many of my note books. but I'm managing OK. IN fact, duotrope is a lifesaver, though I'd rather have my own system, I just never have the gumption to set it up. Anyway.

I've been writing a lot. Work gets slow sometimes, and when it does, I'll jot down some lines, write parts of a story, or a poem, or I'll organize a manuscript, and figure out where some holes are, where I need to write more. I just made a list the other day of all my projects, and it's a little crazy. Being someone who had given up on poetry till my final year of undergrad, and even at WWU in the MA program, I wasn't taking poetry seriously till Oliver's prose poem class, I was surprised to see how many completed or mostly-completed poetry projects I have. There's Wolves, Chapel, Rule (my trilogy of performances-in-verse), and there's We're All Just Failures In Successful Skin (my first book of poems, most of which I wrote as an undergrad. It's about my parent's divorce and my grandfather's bullshit when I was in my teens and twenties), and there's Las Cruces vs Bellingham, which is about Bellingham and Las Cruces, but mostly it's about the last couple years of my life: all the changes, the moves, the challenges, the friendships, and the failed relationships, before some of the best things that ever happened to me), and there's my recent project that seems to be about a city and adolescence and crime(?) (I'm trying to figure out whether this would be a good project to collaborate with a certain someone whose work I really love. I think I may be sending him an email soon, but I'm trying to figure out what exactly I want the project to be. Maybe I need fresh eyes).

Then there's my fiction projects (The Story Thief, Bumping, Real Vampires. And then there's The Mission Tapes.

I've been writing a lot of short stories that are really absurd or magical real. I've got a bunch done, and a handful of halfies. We'll see what comes of these, but I know I've got a fiction chapbook out of what I have.

I have this goal right now. Before I finish graduate school, I want to have publish two full-lengths of poems (or have them accepted for publication), and at least one fictional book published. I know, grand dreams! But I think this is realistic. I've been getting published more and more frequently. I think, for one, I'm learning how to submit, how to send the right kind of stuff, and how to know which journals are right. I can't read every journal religiously and learn exactly what they publish, but I can learn what kind of stuff they publish from know what kind poets (or writers) they do publish. A lot of that listing I talked about earlier in this post, is figuring out what piece is right for what journal.

I revisiting Dexter. Emily hasn't seen it. We're on Season 3. I can't wait to revisiting the Trinity Killer in Season 4. We're also wrapping up the Wire. Season 5, disc 3!

I've been playing guitar a lot because my little bro brought me his Fender acoustic. I've been playing for Elliot. He seems to like it. And it gives me a chance to write for Mission Tapes. I've got a lot of songs. I have no freaking idea when this thing will get off the ground, but I need a 4-track. Anyone got one they want to donate or let me borrow for an extended amount of time? Which reminds me, I need to get my microphones back.

Emily just got the OK from the doctor to workout again, so both of us are working out again. Hopefully, I can keep going. I'm tired of being fat. I just want to wear my jeans and tees without feeling uncomfortable. Plus I'm trying to eat right. We'll see how that goes.

Anyway, there's more to write about, but I'll save that for another blog. Hopefully that will come sooner than later.

Love ya,

Jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

A Couple Things:

1)

I love being a father. It's the most rewarding, yet most tiring thing I've ever done. I know I should be blogging on the other blog but I just had to say this. Em is a trooper. While I'm at work all day she's with Elliot. And he can be fussy for hours. The other night, Em slept maybe 2 hours and didn't sleep again till the next night. It seems to be getting better, but I'm out pretty cold at night, and I don't know if Em's just not waking me as much, or if Elliot is sleeping through the night. Anyway, Em is a great mother and the best wife.


2)

I miss grad. school. I miss it. I mean, at least I get to teach and write, but still, I miss it. I miss sitting in a classroom talking about poetry, fiction, film, whatever as though it actually matters in the grand scheme of things. Because, let's be honest, it only mattes to those who care about it. Right? Well, anyway, I can't wait to dig back in. September. I'm curious to see how it all works out with Elliot, with Em going back to school, with coordinating all the public transportation and schedules. I guess we'll see. But I'm just stoked that in 9 months (?) I'll be in grad. school. Now, that I've left NMSU and I'm not in school, cool things are happening down there. I get nostalgic and wonder if leaving was the best idea. But it only takes me a second to realize we left, not just because I wanted to go to a more intense school (we'll see if that actually happens), but because we wanted to be in a city (and because we wanted to take a year off to be around family and friends), and also because there were things I just couldn't reconcile at NMSU. The jist of it? I was extremely let down as a first -year. Would it have gotten better? Yes, I'm sure it would've. I'm sure I would've ended up enjoying my time there as much as possible. Why am I asking all these questions that I'm going to answer? (I yell at my students about these kinds of questions). I understand why they do it. I just think it's lazy. Anyway, I miss grad. school. It's that simple.

3)

I'm still finding time to write. Most of it in jotting notes down in front of the TV when we're watching. The rest is on breaks at work, slow points at work, or at school inbetween classes, or while my students do their in class writing.

I finally finished compling This is the Way to Rule. It's huge! 189 pages. Though, I think that It'll probably be 120-130 when I'm done. I've got some cutting to do (not to mention new poems I have to write to really nail down the beginning, the middle, the end). I'm also gonna do this thing that friend from work suggested. I have some poems that go "listen: can you hear the gates creaking?" or "listen: those aren't fires cracking out there." or whatever (I made those up). So, most of the poems are prose poems covering the narrative of the people traveling around, chasing the wreckage, putting out fires, blah, blah, blah. I also have this is the way to rule and this is not the way to rule poems. So, what my friend suggested was taking those one liners and putting them on their side, on the edge of the page. So, you have the main poems, then you have the side poems. The trick will be to get the one-liners to tell a story, follow an arc, as well as the main poems. In fact, the goal is to have them address a subtext, subplot. So that the reader can read the book two ways.

4)

I still haven't seen Harry Potter. I need to!

Also on the list: Never Let Me Go.
but I should probably read the book first. If I can find it....nowhere, maybe I'll have to buck-up and go to a non-used book store.

5)

No more all Wednesday class at ITT-Tech. I teach Wednesday night and Friday night. GE 217 (Composistion). I can't wait for the day when I can teach Lit and Creative Writing class. i hope I can convince Colubmia College to allow that. I mean, shit, four years of experience should give me a leg up.

6)

The Mission Tapes is on the brain.

Alright, that's all for now. I just wanted to keep blogging as much as I could. So, here you go. Comment on this. Tell me what you think. Tell me your ideas. Let's talk.

A Brief History of My Bands

I don't know if any of you care, but I wanted to write about this. I mean, I'm starting to work on a project about a band, so I think I'm just trying to jog my memory about playing in bands, writing songs, and all that.

So here you go.

My first band, of course, was Autumn Poetry. I started playing guitar (I didn't own one, so I borrowed my friends' guitars...all of our equipment was borrowed, and we ran into some bumpiness in our friendships because of it). I didn't sing at first. First, we got our friend Aaron, who turned out to suck at singing, and who turned out to not be as serious as we wanted him to be (At our first show, he showed up hours late, right before the show started, and it wasn't long after that show in the front room of our house, that we kicked him out (or he quit, or something)). I have pictures of him in the band, but I'll have to find them.

We wrote songs vigorously. Our older friend, the reason we wanted to start bands and the reason we realized we could, told us we wrote songs too fast, told us to not be so serious about our music. But we couldn't help it. We loved it!

Originally, we were called just Autumn, but there are so many bands with that name, so we put Poetis (I think) on the end of it, 'cause it was foreign, and there's a Sunny Day Real Estate song, where Enigk sings in Greek...I think it's Greek. Maybe not. Whatever, this is like 13 years ago. Anyway, that was stupid, so we changed our name to Autumn Poetry. (And as a joke, on one flyer, our friends wrote Autumn Burritos, which pissed us off so much. We were furious and ended up not talking to them for a while). We didn't realize how BAD Autumn Poetry was. Though, years went by and we never changed it. Why? I don't know. We were afraid that people wouldn't remember us. That was stupid, because we were so tiny. Our biggest fan base with in Fresno, or So. Cal. and we were trying to make it in Seattle. But whatever, we never changed our name, not till we broke up, and changed it to We are the Parade. But it was a lost cause. Two big indies and one major wasn't interested in our song. I think our songs were good, but a lot of the lyrics were so bad that we just couldn't sink it. I'll admit, I wrote the lyrics, and even when I wanted to change them, no one else thought it was a good idea. We wanted to ride out what we had going. I'm still proud of those songs, I just wish we would've bitten the bullet and revises most of our lyrics. Of course, there are those classics that we wouldn't've changed, but nonetheless, a majority of the lyrics would've been completely different.

I started playing drums after our original drummer, Bennett Park (great drummer, great man), moved to Berkeley to go to school (still going), and every replacement we got, sucked. So, I let Caleb sing, put the guitar down, and started playing. I remember the first show I played drums. We were going to play a show in Tacoma and our drummer quit, right before the show (we had one drummer who quit on the way to the show, but still played it. It was pretty awful). So, I took the drums, set it up, and played. I basically, just kept time, and let Caleb make most of the noise. Considering, it turned out OK. I started practicing all the time, and eventually, we wrote our Autumn songs to be fairly simple, but with cool patterns, so that I could beat the shit out of the drums, and we could rock when we played.

First line up: Aaron (vocals), Travis (bass/guitar), Bennett (drums), Caleb (guitar, yells, feedback), Joshua (vocals/guitar/bass)

Second line up: Travis, Bennett Caleb, Joshua (same)

Second.five line up: Numerous drummers.

Third line up: Travis, Jeremy (Drums), Caleb, Joshua

Fourth line up: Joshua and Caleb (Jeremy played drums on half our record/Greg, from Kilmer, played bass)

Fifth line up: Joshua (drums), Caleb, Kevin (bass) (who we were playing with in a band called the Hopeful) Carrie (Rhodes Piano)

Sixth line up: Joshua, Caleb, Kevin, Lacey (Rhodes keyboard...she joined us on a Winter tour, after Carrie quit mid-tour...we were all fighting a lot. Carrie called Lacey a bitch, Kevin, who was pissed at Carrie, told Lacey and Caleb. Caleb choked me in front of the Castle in Disneyland. That night the band broke up. The next day, Carrie flew home. Then the band finished the tour, thanks to Lacey learning all the parts, while Kevin and I were in Santa Rosa drinking with the Polar Bears at a New Years Eve party)

Seventh line up: Joshua, Caleb, Kevin, Lacey, Chad (guitar) (I had started booking for Chad's band Never Again. He started playing on a couple songs, and eventually, he became permanant, much to Kevin's un-happiness).

Eighth line up: Joshua, Caleb, Chad (bass) , Lacey. (Kevin had quit as were were finishing up our full-length. Chad slid right into playing bass).

We broke up in the Horseshoe cafe, discussing our options. Tooth & Nail seemed interested, but then decided not to pursue us. Militia Group really liked our record, but thought that we weren't pop-punk enough to sign at the moment. He said, "We just signed the Appleseed Cast. They don't sell like pop-punk. So, sorry. We signed the only non-pop-punk band we can sign right now." OK. He didn't say this verbatim. But our contact relayed this to us. And finally, a friend tried to get this to his manager and major label, but it turned out to go nowhere. So that was it. Our last show was a house show in our friends' house, with our friends' bands, and we played three songs, before the cops shut us down. That, and we played someone's wedding as a favor. It was weird watching a bride and groom sing along to our tunes.

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THE HOPEFUL - Was a band for Caleb's songs. Brian from Kilmer played lead guitar, Kevin played bass, I played drums (this is around the time, I started playing in Autumn. I think these practices helped me become a better drummer for AP). We practiced in Brian's garage once a week and played only one show, at the Woodinville YMCA Youth Center, which is actually two blocks from where I live now. I jogged by in and though t about that show. I wore a red scarf as I played. Caleb just recorded a handful of song, many of them from the Hopeful days. The record is almost done. It's really good. Sometimes, the songs get stuck in my head. Sometimes, I hate that.

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Oh, Paper Airplanes. A girl broke my heart and I wrote songs about it. Truth is, a lot of the songs were already written, so I just pretended they were about a girl. I thought it was a poetic thing to do. Now, I guess it just makes me look like an idiot. In the background, is Matt. He played keyboards and programmed my beats. I tried to keep him in the band, but his rhythm and timing were awful. His beats were cool, though, and on our first record, we used his as the skeletons for the ones we finalized. He came and sang on the record with me (background yells), but he had left/I had asked him not to play anymore. I was a little mean to him. That picture is of me looking back at him and saying, "Stop playing," because he was way off and it was messing me up. I still apologize to him about that moment. Next time I see him, I'll apologize. He was a great band mate and a good friend, regardless of his political views. Haha. I have two records I recorded with this band. I released neither. Once again, lyrics kinda suck (but some are better than AP), but the songs are pretty good. I might go back to the well, when I make another record. Re-vitalize them, change them, rewrite many of the words. This is the band where I decided you didn't need a bridge to make a decent song. Just a verse and a chorus and a louder chorus at the end. I played my last show opening for Mount Eerie and the 1am Radio at the VU at Western. I sang a song about that girl who broke my heart, and I'm told, when she heard the song, she started crying and ran out. Awesome. But not really.

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This picture is in Seattle, outside the new Paradox in Ballard. We hadn't even recorded anything yet. We were still just an idea, just pieces of sections (oh yeah, we called songs, sections, because we would only write small pieces/sections of songs, and most of our sets were ad-lib/improv).

I remember the first time we jammed. It was before an Never Again practice. We just started playing shit. It was cool. I said, "We should do this." Chad said, "Yeah, this is cool." Or something like that.

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I was gonna start an Explosions in the Sky type band with this guy, and we jammed in his room a couple times, but nothing ever came of it. Too bad. It would've been a blast, especially if he kept that mustache. Sexy and so hip.

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Wendelin joined The Braille Tapes, 'cause we love his drumming. He was in In Praise of Folly and Members Of. We recruited him to play on a couple tracks on F-Bomb, but those couple tracks, became more. On our first tour with him, he played only half the set, and he was supposed to do that for the entirety of his tenure in the band, but when we started writing Robot Meat is Murder, it just made more sense for him to play drums and Chad to play bass, because I was showing everyone the songs I wrote.

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Then Drew joined, played a few shows with us and Wendelin (also of In Praise of Folly and Members Of). We thought, he would become a staple, but that sort of fizzled out when his new band with Wendelin, Rooftops, started getting attention. Wendelin stuck it out with us. And we were glad, 'cause he's probably the best drummer I ever played with. He makes me look bad.

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Then, while writing Robot Meat, my brother joined the band. He's always had a knack for writing coolest secondary/lead parts that don't sound like a guitarist wanking away, but accompany the music. It was pretty cool having him in the band. Though, he couldn't understand my distaste for touring, my distaste for long recording session. I guess, looking back, I was just burnt out. I miss playing. I miss writing songs and showing them to bands. I miss playing shows. I miss those drives to Seattle for shows. I miss standing in the back of a club after a set, steaming, talking about the set, making jokes, looking at my band-mates, and thinking, "These guys are amazing." It's weird thinking about ever playing music with anyone else. I learned how to play music with these guys, I learned how to write a good song, how to sing, how to make a melody, how to record a record.

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There are bands I didn't write about. All of them short-lived: Ian (me caleb and some ass-hole. We played two awful shows.) Oden (I played drums, Travis and some other dude. Butt-rock, but not cool. They started doing drugs, a lot. Plus the music sucked) Magician's Newphew (Me, Matt, and Travis. We wrote one song. It sucked. We just stuck with Autumn) Southern Gospel Revival (I wasn't in this band, but I wanted to be. Caleb, Jeremy Vincent-our pastors song, and Travis on drum. They sounded like a bad version of 764-Hero and Blenderhead. Though, they had their moments. I really wanted to be in this band. And was crushed when they wouldn't let me. Jeremy was the lead singer of Wink and Silas, both local bands who almost signed with Tooth & Nail) I think I was in a band with Kevin that didn't go anywhere.

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Right now, I'm writing songs for that big project I wrote about the other post. THE MISSION TAPES. It's weird. I'm going to write the songs, then tear them apart and place them in a decade. I'll have to research (listen to bands of the time and learn HOW they played drums, guitars, keyboards, bass, etc. How they made melodies). I have to learn about how they recorded, and tell our producer. But it's fun writing for someone again. Truth is, I'll probably just recruit The Braille Tapes for the band. But we'll see.

Still submitting

I just finished another draft of The Story Thief and sent it to an agent.

I've sent out a ton (I told Ian close to 100) query letters: Presses, agents, etc. I've gotten a ton of rejections and a ton of no responses. On a random search on a website I will not mention due to the fact that I just went through a fucked up editorial experience with them, I found a link to this agent. So, I made another query letter and sent it out...I didn't expect anything, but one day later she responded. "Yes, I would love to review your manuscript." Thank you, Kate Trueblood, for teaching me how to write a decent query letter. So, yeah, it's not an acceptance or anything, but it's still a response. I'm stoked.

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Anyway, I'm gonna blog on our other blog sometime today.

Later,

Joshua